08.16.10
PEACH, GRAY HAIR, and your mother
The color peach and gray hair have both been on my mind lately. (not to mention the growing strands of gray that increasingly grace my head, o natural, now that i’m the ripe old age of 32). I couple months ago I read an article in the fashion section of the New York times about gray hair as a trend among hipsters and just recently in my hometown of Cincinnati caught sight of an early 20 something fashionista sporting a full head of gray locks. The times article talked about the irony of teens and 20 somethings dying their hair gray when their mothers (and sometimes fathers) spend into the billions collectively washing that gray right out. Course, there’s a handful of potential cultural influences, Japanese anime characters, the granny chic movement, and I would love to say a cultural shift toward embracing the aging process in general…but this seems like a long shot at this point…baby steps.
Way past flirting on the cultural edges like the gray hair trend, the color peach seems to be surpassing it’s role as pink’s ugly step sister, in the words of Heather Spriggs, a lifelong friend and color guru . I recently walked into Urban Outfitters to find it as the dominant color, both in display and clothing options…they were pretty unapologetic in their peachiness. But then a continued clash of aesthetic values rages on Heather’s blog over peach’s place in fashion and design. One reader told the author to “put her hands up and step away from the peach paint” as if she was about to commit style suicide! Wow, people sure do get impassioned about their color choices…
But of course, it’s not just about color. It’s never just that. It’s all of what that color represents. Like the aroma of your grandma’s baking bread or the now pungent smell of your ex’s perfume, color can take you back too. And to many folks in my generation, peach reminds us of our mother’s decor, the peach + mint green or mauve and country blue options of the eighties. We’ve hated peach ever since puberty and the need to differentiate from our parents. But wait, the peach haters have kids now and some are even old enough to sense what we hate and subsequently embrace it. Maybe they also see their mother’s distain for her gray hair. So they are now off to soak their head in silver dye. What up with that?
In my opinion, a lot that is good and wholesome and intrinsic to being human….fascination with novelty and variety, need to differentiate from previous generations, the questioning of arbitrary rules, embracing change…all good stuff that helps us grow when balanced with some humility and intellectual depth.
Those last two points are key to me: humility to express ourselves without making our own rules to contradict the one’s we’re questioning (my mother used WAY too much peach, so therefore any amount of peach is WRONG. Never mind that incredible peachy, pink sunset) And depth…so you see your mother dying out her gray hair and you decide to “go gray.” That’s fun, but what if you looked a little deeper into why she does what she does and instead of only rebelling with your gray hair and baby face, decide to be a part of a culture that embraces aging and subsequently change society, instead of just your hair. And I bet gen. Y’s have the guts to do just that. I like them; they’re feisty.
well, im pondering weather or not there is enough room in this tiny comment box for all that I want to say in response. nonetheless, here goes. first of all let me say. Bravo! Wow! and Amen! Second of all, you definitely need to keep writing this stuff and sharing it with us. The world needs you. I need you. You are a modern day philosopher who so eloquently knows how to share her findings and musings. Thirdly, go grannies go! I’ve always been attracted to the granny aesthetic and feel like I had this same rebellious spirit in high school. I rebelled against my hippie free spirited parents by embracing ultra conservatism, wearing culottes, hosiery and tea length dresses. (wishing i could drive a buggy to school when i got my liscence.) my best friend and i even created an official “Anne of Green Gables” holiday.
But all of that aside now as a 30 something myself I feel as though I learned from the experience. I can look back on myself and smile. Realized that was a true part of me but I learned how to love my Mother in the process and accept her and her quirky generation for who they are. And now I feel as though I can draw from all decades and past generations to use for my own knowledge and resource. As far as changing society… I think the answer for me was in learning to love and forgive. It changed my heart and thus I can move forward instead of holding onto bitterness.
I often like to dream about how my kids will rebel against me. What would that look like? Do we all need the next generation to rebel a little to help history to repeat itself.
Someone told me that Gen Y is now the same in evolutionary flow as “greatest generation ever” remember Tom Brokaw’s book about that several years ago. All the people who fought in WWII and created victory gardens ,etc.. standing up for what they believe in …. anyway, my sister talks about this alot. She thinks of herself as falling into that catagory and if i were advocate for her and her generation i would want someone like her… she’s ooozing love and forgiveness.
So thanks sister, you rock. We needed this! WE need you!
Comment by Heather — August 18, 2010 @ 7:02 pm
ps. how do you feel about the color combo of peach and gray?? i just primed a painting in gray then painted over it in peach and i loved the combination in the process.
pps. oooohhh yeah! i also meant to tell you that there was a girl in my high school who always frosted her hair like her mother and everyone called her “frosty”!!
Comment by Heather — August 19, 2010 @ 3:15 pm
yay for frosty! I love it. Awe, Heather, you are such an encouragement to me and so very wise in your perspective. Love and forgiveness IS central….to let us see others as whole individuals and not just foils for our own rebellion.
And it’s so interesting to see how kids chose to embrace parent’s blind spots, right? Your tale of getten yur granny on (partially) to spite your hippie momma is so telling….On the other side, I remember my dad showing me his year book from college with disdain because these crazy hippie people made the bulk of it a documentary, pbs style, of what was going on in the world and in their community and put all the sports teams and clubs and student pictures (all the collegey stuff) in the far back, on perforated pages, no less (!). Even though (and maybe partially because) my dad was still miffed at these folks, I walked away with a love for the rule breaking, outside the box thinking, free spirited hippies of the sixties! And here you and I are, the best of friends! I think I read in a self help book that we often chose significant relationships in our lives to work out our parent issues…ha!
And you and your sister both are oozing with love and forgiveness! This generational division isn’t so sharp, I’m thinking. We’re are in the same boat, even those of us who’ve passed the 30′s divide :) You certainly have the generous and industrious spirit to emulate our grannies values!
Peach and gray is fun too! It feels very yinyang to me…peach so fleshy, gray so mechanical. good stuff!
Comment by Elizabetty — August 20, 2010 @ 8:20 am
wow, I didn’t know wordpress turned my smilies into emoticons…I kinda don’t like that. Sam almost didn’t like me because I used too many smilies in my emails. But I think even emoticons are going too far on the cheesiness continuum for even me :O
Comment by Elizabetty — August 20, 2010 @ 8:22 am
you are too funny with the smileys. im kinda jealous. do you use skype? you so need to get an account if you dont already . beth and i skype nearly everymorning and they have a plethora of hilarious smiley emoticons that we use to create our own language. they have one that barfs that is really funny!
ps. one of our neighbors down the street who had a gray EFIS (faux stucco) house is PAINTING IT PEACH!! i need to go down and take pictures.
thinking of you, always!
Comment by Heather — August 20, 2010 @ 9:37 pm
Y’all are so funny! I love this Elizabeth!!! So happy to read your wonderful thoughts!
Comment by Beth — August 22, 2010 @ 9:01 am
speaking of grannies.. betty white won an emmy at the age of 88 for her hosting SNL..
gives me hope that maybe my best years and best work is ahead of me.
go grannies go!!
maybe im gonna go frost my hair now.
Comment by Heather — August 22, 2010 @ 10:01 am
I remember peach and gray in the early nineties and you are right, I haven’t used peach much since. But! I am going to make it a point to use it now.
Comment by Stephanie Ryan — September 7, 2010 @ 8:52 pm